Are there any parenting experts out there? I ask because it seems that every parent I know, including my wife and myself, seems to be on a “work in progress” path to being a well-rounded parent. It’s been said so many times before, but why oh why don’t kids come with an owner’s manual? Ask most any parent and they’re likely to tell you that they are still trying to figure out what makes a “perfect child”. The fact is, we parents are incapable of “creating” perfection. Try as we might, every one of my children (yours too, come on) will leave home both an imperfect and an incomplete project. I know many parents that really struggle with the fact that their child has this or that flaw or that if only they had done this one parenting thing better, it all would turn out perfect. In my opinion, one trick to being a better parent is to accept that you can not make your kids perfect and to embrace that. Don’t get down on yourself or your child because they act up in public or don’t make the grades you wanted, or aren’t the star athlete. Your job is not to create perfection but to give children the basic core values that they can take out into the world to make their own decisions with. Trying to inoculate your child from every possibly harmful thing you can think of will not help them be prepared for the even greater number of things they will encounter in their life. Continue reading “Parenting Experts?”
Tag: Kids
Life on Hold
What do you say when your 7 year old asks you if life will ever move on when you have kids?
I was putting the kids to bed the other night and my 7 year old Noah said:
“Dad, do you feel like life won’t ever move on now that you have kids?”
My first thought was “Oh my gosh, did he hear me say something like that?”. I’m gussing that all parents at some point wonder what their life would be like without kids. Maybe he overheard my wife Sharon and I talking and we said something like that. But, recovering from my own thoughts, I smiled at him and said,
“Oh honey, I think that our life with kids keeps us moving all the time. We love how our life is with kids, there are lots of things that I wouldn’t know anything about. I would never know what it’s like to have a 7 year old boy.”
“Yeah, but I’m going to be living with you forever.” Noah said.
“Noah, you’re going to grow up and have a family of your own and move out to your own house.”
“But I don’t know what I want to do or how to do things”
“Well, you have a long time still to learn things and to figure out what you want to do. And, you can come back and see us whenever you want. Come over for dinner, bring your kids over, just like we do at Grandma and Grandpas.”
“But what if you move?”
Well, we’ll be sure and tell you where we move, and we’ll talk to you on the phone. We won’t go away just because you move out. You will come over to our house, and you can bring your kids, and we’ll still see you all the time.”
“Oh, OK” was all that Noah said, and that seemed to solve it and put his fears to rest.
I am constantly amazed by the sincere and deep thoughts of kids.